Happy Birthday Nicolas!!!

Today, you are eighteen. How quickly the years have passed, some great ones, and some so very hard. You have overcome huge obstacles and today marks a special milestone in your very triumphant and successful life. You are on the brink of manhood, ready to began achieving your dreams. You are a miracle, and it has been my privilege to watch this miracle unfold.

Is it really sixteen years that have flown by since I first saw you at the age of two in the ICU at Doernbecher Hospital? It doesn't seem possible. It is like yesterday, walking into your room, looking at one of the sickest little kids, yet one of the cutest, I had ever seen. You were one week after your accident, three weeks after your Mom's death, and you were in critical condition. You were wrapped in iron from your "halo" which kept your broken neck steady, had a feeding tube and pump, and were on a respirator to help your lungs heal.

HOWEVER, out of that maze of tubes and iron, were a pair of the brownest, inquiring eyes I have ever seen!! You looked at me, sized up the bag of tricks I had with me, and watched with avid interest as I began to unload my bag. At that moment, you moved into my heart and there you have firmly stayed, my sweet grandson of my heart!

When you finally left ICU, you were transferred to Emmanuel Hospital for pediatric rehab. Do you remember any of those days? I've told you lots of stories about those weeks. You were finished with your tubing and despite "mine halo" as you called it, you were a happy, smiling little boy with an amazing vocabulary, I was to discover, after you could talk again!!

Do you remember all of the trips we took that first summer to rehab? We rode that Tri-Met lift bus for hours....and hours. You usually had your afternoon nap on the bus as we came back to your home.

Despite the hard work of Rehab, we had lots of fun times together. You loved the playroom at Shriners, were a little apprehensive about getting your legs casted for your first braces, but loved playing with the child life specialist who always told you ahead of time with toys and play, what was going to happen. There were many wonderful people in your life who helped with your rehabilitation. I know you remember many of them.

As I allowed myself to travel down this road we have traveled together for the last sixteen years, I am reminded of so many fun things we did together. It wasn't all rehab and doctor appointments, although it felt like it at times.

You came to my house often and I remember the summer you were four and I had you for a week. We read through all of the four boxes of the 'Bob Books' and a reader was born!! Oh my, was a reader born!!! You have continued to read far above grade level all through your school years.

Do you remember outings to the Children's Museum? You thought the water room belonged to you and got very upset if anyone else even played in there.

A wonderful ride on the Lake Oswego Trolley--

Then there were all of our trips to visit Santa at the downtown Meier and Frank. We always went on Max with a large group of friends and family for many years.

I can't forget your choir experience.

Today we celebrate your birthday. It cannot go by without mentioning the wonderful achievement you have accomplished. Earlier this year I wrote about you getting your new car. After many hours of practice and getting your car retrofitted just for your needs, you have your DRIVER'S LICENSE! That is so exciting and I see a 'new you'. You have a lilt in your voice and I can feel the wind beneath your wings, as you enjoy this wonderful new independence you have earned. I am soooo proud of you, Nicolas!

And here you are getting ready for take off!

The chair had to be loaded...
Its in...
You are in the car and almost ready.... to go!

.....and you are off down the hill to the big world beyond.

....and so, my sweet Nicolas, the years have passed in a blink of an eye. You have grown into a very self-sufficient young man, totally independent, despite the adversity you have endured. You are an OVER-COMER, A WINNER, AN OUTSTANDING YOUNG MAN, and you stand on the brink of the rest of your life. The future is before you. I shall look for great things from you, my sweet boy!

Happy, Happy Birthday! May your life be lived to the glory of God, and may you be used mightily for Him. God bless you, Nick! I love you so much.

REMEMBERING ERIC--4/8/08

an adoring daddy

a loving husband

a wonderful friend

a beloved son

Eight years ago today, Eric was killed instantly in an accident in which a teen age driver crossed the line on a curve. Eric was thirty nine...

I first met Eric in 1992, when he was thirty two years old, had been a widower for three weeks, and had just ended up with two critically injured boys as a result of an auto accident...

Nicolas, Eric’s little boy, became my little sweetie as I began visiting and spending time with him for months during his hospitalization. During this time, I came to know and love the older son, Charles, also.

I am so thankful that Eric asked me to stay and be part of their lives when the boys finally left the hospital.

Eric’s family became my family of the heart through many tears, lots of laughter, wonderful hugs, yummy meals together, prayers, warm fellowship and endless medical appointments!!

Getting to know Eric's extended family from Wisconsin was a real plus. His french parents are so darling....and so loving to everyone. The day they arrived after the accident, as the three of us stood embracing one another, Jean-Claude, Eric's dad said,
"Oh this is so hard....yet we know that our God makes no mistakes". They have continued to be a tower of strength for Eric's family.

a beloved son

Eric and his parents, Denise and Jean-Claude

For seven years it was my joy and privilege to know and love Eric. There are so many precious memories from the hours we spent together.

an adored daddy
Eric, Nicolas, Baby Paul, Charles

I was able to watch Eric develop from a young man overwhelmed with grief in his life, to a happy, mature man, secure in his circle of family and friends, and rejoicing in the love of Helene, (whom he married three years after the boys’ accident) and their three boys.

a loved husband

a new family is born

Today I remember Eric as a wonderful friend, a young man who had faced tremendous adversity, who amid laughter and tears, was under girded by a deep and abiding faith in Christ. He often spoke to me of his faith.

I remember one evening Eric, Helene and I were in a deep discussion about God and where He fits into the tragedies of our lives--Eric stated so clearly and simply that night,

“I have no bitterness toward God.
My faith is in Him and I do not question why.”

His simple eloquence spoke deeply to my troubled heart that night. Those words took on new meaning in the days that followed as we dealt with Eric’s early home going.

I miss so many things about Eric...

being able to phone him to just chat or get a problem solved

watching his ceaseless perfection in any work that he undertook

stopping by his store with Nicolas after a west side doctor appointment
and seeing Eric's eyes light up when he saw Nick,
drop what he was doing, and come running to swing Nick up in his arms.

his thrill over hamburgers that he had cooked to perfection on his grill

his heartfelt prayers of thanksgiving before we shared a meal together.

listening to the laughing and talking that went on
with son, Charles as the two of them cleaned up the kitchen after dinner

his many affirmations which he so freely gave

and the many conversations we enjoyed as an extended family

But, most of all I miss seeing him enjoy his boys as they continue to grow and mature. He loved each of them deeply and so often said, “Joan, I’ve got the greatest kids in the world!”

Nick, now 17, Charles, now 25, Paul, now 11 and Eric, with the Lord

I shall always be grateful to God that Eric was part of my life. I have been richly blessed because I knew him.

I continue to be blessed because his family remain precious to me.
I am their "Grandma Joan".

I like that.

Nicolas, my "grandson" of the heart,

Nick is getting his first car today!!

Nicolas and I first met when he was two years old and a patient at Doernbecker Hospital. He was in ICU with a trachea, a halo, a feeding tube and two of the brownest eyes I have ever seen. I visited him three times a week for months. He was a chubby, adorable little boy and he had been in a terrible auto accident. His mommie had died from leukemia, three weeks before the accident. It was the saddest thing I had ever heard about...and so I volunteered. Nick had months of rehab, learning how to live with his disabilities, and moving forward. I was with him through all of this as his daddy had to work. I loved him more each time I was with him.

In rehab at Shriners, which went on for years!

When it was time to discharge from the rehab hospital, his dad asked me to stay in their lives and I was thrilled. I just became "grandma joan" over the months and years that followed.

Nick on my back patio "fishing".
I spent at least 3 or 4 days a
week with him--either at my
house, or his, and to one of
his endless doctor or rehab
appointments!

Today, he is thrilled beyond belief! He is now 17, a straight A student, and hopefully heading to U of O for architecture study after he graduates in the spring of 09! He is an amazing young man!

Next week his car will go for special hand controls adaptation, for you see, Nick was left a tri-plegic after all the healing was done. He does walk with crutches, but it is very laborious for him, so he prefers his wheelchair.

When Nick was five his dad remarried and his new mom adopted him, as well as his older brother, Charles (who is another story) There was a new little brother born into the family who is adored by his two older brothers.

Nicolas, Charles, Paul--Christmas 2007

When Nick was 10, his darling daddy, who had become like another son to me, was instantly killed in a head on crash on a beautiful, sunny Oregon spring morning. What a shock it was. We all reeled from that loss for months and months. Nick was forlorn, depressed and in such deep grief, that it was hard to know how to help him. I loved him and prayed a lot. My own thoughts were in turmoil and I was full of questions for God...i finally came to the fact that we live in an imperfect world where accidents happen and while God does not plan these things, he allows them in our lives, hopefully for His ultimate glory. It does take a long time to process all of that after a terrible tragedy.

As Nick matured, he was quietly resistant to the call from God placed upon his heart. He has been active in Young Life, has gone to their camps and loved every minute, but still refused to make that commitment to the Lord. I am thrilled to say that last fall Nicolas gave his life completely to Christ when he experienced the rebirth of his soul by asked the Lord Jesus Christ to come into his life.

I wrote about Nick today because this is such an important day for him--getting his own car and then learning to drive. He says he will drive himself to see me--I'm looking forward to that day!! He comes to see me and spends week-ends here when he can, but being able to drive himself will be a marvelous milestone for him.

Nick, if you are reading this, I love you, sweet boy. I've loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you. Of course you know that. I hope you are okay with me sharing some of your story. I think it is an amazing one and I am sooooo thrilled for you that you are going to be driving!!

gramma joan

Nick, taken last week--age 17